Daily Dose of Banter
by xAngel Of Music
Summary: Just a peek into House and Cuddy's bantering, and there's an old lady, too. Huddy. One-shot for now, depends on if I get any requests to continue it.


House sat behind his desk in his office. He wasn't alone for long, unfortunately, because soon enough Cuddy entered his room.

"Patients are saying great things about you. Words worth remembering, actually. But lucky for me, I know you're doing absolutely nothing while your team handles everything, but I'd like to see the paperwork coming with it as well, seeing how I'm finding five times your regular paperwork." She was standing in front of his desk now, staring at him with an irritated look.

"Who told you?" He briefly paused from throwing his red-and-gray ball up into the air and catching it.

"I'll never tell, but Wilson." Cuddy folded her arms across her chest, wishing she could snatch the ball from his hands so he would be more intent on listening to her. "Make sure your team actually does their paperwork, and you do yours, too."

"You can't tell me that at least one of them hasn't been dropping by paperwork, sucking up like a... nevermind." It was obvious House would have made some perverted comment. He then looked at Cuddy, raising an eyebrow, "You brought your mother to work? This is the punishment you've thought up for me?"

House was referring to the old woman standing in his doorway, looking about fifty years of age.

Cuddy turned around to look at the woman, raising one of her arched eyebrows as well, before turning back to House. "House. Paperwork." She warned once more before leaving the room.

"You're House, right?" The woman asked.

House watched after her for a moment. "Right.." He replied when she was gone, before turning to the woman. "Well, the evil woman you saw leave a moment ago might have _called_ me House, but you might be too deaf to hear her." He shrugged.

The woman made her way over to House's desk.

"What have you come to torture me for?" House sighed.

"I've sent emails, made phonecalls specifically for you, but all I'm getting is some short man with a big nose." She replied.

"Taub. Continue." House said.

The older woman paused to cough into her sleeve before continuing. "I want to know what's wrong with me. You're the only one I trust to find out."

"You're not sick, and that was a very badly faked cough." House replied.

"Excuse me? You think I'd be here if I wasn't sick? I thought the greatest doctor in the hospital might be able to actually _diagnose and cure_ me instead of waving me off." She retorted.

Before House could find time to reply, Cuddy returned to his office, studying the clearly irritated old woman. Well, she couldn't blame her for being irritated, she was with _House_ for God's sake.

"What do you want now? It's impossible to have finished that paperwork in the five minutes I had to argue with this patient." House looked up at Cuddy.

Cuddy stared at him for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Forget the paperwork." She replied with a sigh.

House raised his eyebrows. "Well, what do you need then?" He asked.

"I do need for you to stop annoying Leslie. She does not need a miserable diagnostician insulting her when she's sick. Actually, she doesn't need a miserable diagnostician insulting her at all." Cuddy replied.

"Oh, of course not," he rolled his eyes. "That's not why you're here again, is it?"

"No. I came back to see if you were actually doing something productive." Cuddy knew it was a bad reason, and she barely knew herself why she did come back.

House waved his hand to the woman called Leslie. "There's a patient. Really, you can leave. Don't worry, I won't touch her innapropriately, I know you'd get jealous. But if you're really worried about it, you can take her back to her room." He said.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "You're not as seductive as you think you are, I know it comes as a shock. I will walk her back if she's done being annoyed by you." She lied, glancing at the silent woman to make sure she was okay.

"Hmm.. yep, you're getting jealous. Don't worry, we can take care of that later tonight? Oh, and she digs me. I don't think she'll ever be done here." He replied.

"Right." Cuddy crossed her arms.

"No rumors about you in a while, you should feel privileged." House said.

"I'd like to keep the no rumor status, thanks." She retorted.

"You sure? I think I could find it in my powers to change that." He smirked.

"House, stop arguing wtih me and pay attention to the patient. I'll be watching you." Cuddy warned.

"Fun. Will you be watching me at my house, too? That could get interesting." House still held the smirk on his face.

Cuddy simply shook her head and left the room, hiding the smile that wanted to grace itself upon her face.


End file.
